AND THE STORY CONTINUES

After the fourth surgery things were pretty much okay for a while as far as the pain goes. However I never conceived and thus got divorced, my ex-husband wanted children and ultimately couldn't deal with what I was dealing with (among other issues). At the time it really hurt, I mean it hurt like a knife stuck smack dab in the middle of my heart, but through the grace and mercy of GOD I realized and found that all things are possible! I overcame the hurt, depression, anger and so many other emotions I experienced during those several years afterwards. But not before somewhat self destructing in regards to my my behavior, attitude and my relationships. It wasn't until I turned 30 that I totally stopped feeling sorry for myself, picked myself up by my boot straps and started to live and truly appreciate life. And through all the turmoil during my self destruction phase GOD always had his hands wrapped around me and allowed me to meet my SOUL MATE and BEST FRIEND....the love of my life! At the time of our meeting we both were going through life altering situations and just needed a friend and that's what we become to one another! A love like this one took some time, but it's the journey that's the sweetest thing! He brought out the best in me and vice versa and the thing that sealed the deal for me with him is when I told him of my pelvic pain issues and the possibility of not ever being able to conceive childeren, his response still brings flutters to my heart! I'll just say he help me to understand and realize that even if I was never able to conceive that doesn't take away or make me less of a woman! Boy do I love that man......my man! So things are going along okay in regards to the pain, nothing major, but still painful cycles. And the thought of still trying to conceive loomed large and although the doctors had not said that this is just totally out of the question, I started to have those feelings again, feelings of depression and despair! So at this point I decided to get busy and focus on something other than conceiving, you name it I was into it and it really worked for a while, until the day when I guess I pushed my body into total overload.............